I’ve been wanting to write a running commentary as I watched a cheesy movie but I haven’t taken the time to do it. Sometimes bad movies can be a lot of fun to watch if you’re in the write mood, especially bad horror movies. One time horror author Douglas Clegg said that horror is the one genre of film where watching a bad movie can be just as much fun as watching a good movie. He’s right, I love trying to find bad horror movies to watch and luckily there are plenty to choose from. This week I decided to watch Blood Of Dracula’s Castle off of Comet TV. If you’re not familiar with Comet TV I urge you to check it out, they really have some great stuff on but keep in mind that this is coming from someone who admittedly has bad taste in movies. Which reminds me I have to set my dvr up to record King Kong Lives when its on.
Blood Of Dracula’s Castle is a 1969 movie that was directed by the late great Al Adamson. We have Alex D’Arcy in the roll of Dracula, Paula Raymond as Countess Townsend and Horror movie legend John Carradine as George The Butler. The movie opens with a woman driving down the highway as a catchy little tune that seems to be called The Next Train Out. It sounds like a song that would have been popular in this time. So far the movie isn’t looking like much of a horror movie. The lighting looks bad and I’m already wondering what was the budget for this movie? $10? Though I have to say the convertible the woman is driving looks pretty cool. At this point in the movie I’m envisioning people in 1969 sitting in a drive in movie theater and rocking out to this song or rolling their eyes, one or the other.
The woman finally gets out of her car and goes to take a walk in the woods she then promptly screams and faints. She is then taken away by Dracula’s evil assistant named Mango. Mango doesn’t look very threatening to me which makes me wonder if maybe the woman fainted because she had a bad mango for lunch. I mean looking at this woman and looking at Mango I just think this woman probably could have taken him in a fight.
After the fainting scene we get the opening credits and the movie switches over to a bunch of dolphins at a place that looks like Sea World. At this point I’m wondering what the hell does this have to do with Dracula? Are they vampire dolphins? There is a walrus too, maybe he’s a vampire. After a few minutes of this we finally see Dracula sitting by the fireplace in his castle with Countess Townsend. They’re talking about the lease on Dracula’s Castle. I can’t see Dracula worrying about a lease but I guess even he has to pay the bills. We finally get to see George The Butler as he is taking a blood sample from the woman who ate a bad mango. she faints again and I can’t help to roll my eyes, gosh what a wimp.
The next scene is Dracula and the countess sampling the mango woman’s blood in wine glasses. They say its delicious I guess it’s always fun to have new blood. There blood is served up by John Carradine as George The Butler. Throughout this movie George always looks like he’s trying not to crack up. Which makes me wonder did he beak out in laughter every time Al Adamson called cut? Did he give the guy playing Dracula any advice since he played the role at least 3 times that I can think of.
We then get to Dracula and the Countess checking out the women they have chained up in their dungeon and they start talking about them like they’re bottles of wine. Dracula and the Mrs. seem to really be loving life. The dialogue in this movie is actually pretty good, this may not be a good movie but I get the impression that the people making it were having a good time. As I’m writing this I keep thinking of that Next Train Out song from the opening of the movie, guess that’s going to stick with me awhile.
We’re still in the middle of a long scene in the dungeon. Dracula is so nice to reward Mango he gives him one of the women chained up in the dungeon. The woman needs to work on her screaming and Mango needs to work on acting scarier. We then hear Dracula telling the newbie in the dungeon that he and the countess are vampires but really prefer to be called the living dead. Nice to know Dracula has standards. In the background there is some really weird music playing. It reminds me of when you go to a children’s museum and you use the rubber sandals to tap out a song on a big set of plastic pipes. We then get a shot of Dracula and the countess going to bed in their caskets, they both say good night, love lives at Dracula’s castle.
Now we have a scene of a guy being chased through the woods by some people with dogs. Early on Dracula kept talking about a guy named Johnny so I’m thinking this must be Johnny. Just as I’m starting to get bored and wonder what the people watching this movie in the 60’s were thinking, the guy on the run comes across a woman in a bikini by a stream. He grabs her and drowns the screaming woman in the river, what the hell was that all about? I’m also wondering at this point why don’t any of these women try to fight their attackers? I’m I supposed to think women at that time didn’t believe in fighting. I guess that’s why they call them scream queens. We eventually find out that this man is indeed Johnny but not before we see him kill a guy and push a car over a cliff. He then gives an evil laugh, I guess killing gives you a good sense of humor.
We then have Johnny talking to George at the castle and he says that the full moon makes him do things he doesn’t want to do. He’s killing people in the daylight so what’s he doing when the moon is full? Does he collect donations for the Salvation Army? I can see for a murderer that may be something you don’t want to do. We then get to Dracula’s landlord visiting with Dracula and the Mrs. The countess is talking about how dangerous the world is and they don’t go out much. I can see how the social turmoil of the 60’s may be something vampires want to avoid.
Dracula was given some bad news the landlords want them out and its up to Johnny to kill them. We also have Dracula saying the secret to staying young is drinking the blood from young people. Then the countess says that they are hoping that someone someday will invent a synthetic blood so they can obey the law again and not kill, hopefully they are still around when Charlaine Harris gives us True Blood.
We then have a bunch of scenes with the landlord and his girl friend walking around Dracula’s castle at night. Eventually the landlord and the girl friend get chained up in the basement. You knew things weren’t going to go well when they decided to kick Dracula out. There sure is a lot of talking in this movie, the writer must have had a really long script. I wonder what movie goers from the 60’s were thinking as they watched this movie.
We have a couple of really long scenes here in the dungeon one with Johnny threatening a woman with a knife and one with rats running around the dungeon with the female captives in the dungeon screaming in terror. Maybe they’re just screaming because they don’t think they’re getting paid enough to shoot this movie. Things are getting really weird in the movie now as one of the captives are taken outside to be sacrificed by being burned at the stake for the great god Luna. This movie may only be an hour and a half but at this point it feels like about three hours. We then finally get to the end of the movie and a dinner party given by Dracula.
It’s kind of funny but as we get to the action packed fight scene at the end the music doesn’t match what’s going on and it looks more like a dance competition then a fight. Dracula and his wife get tied up and it’s up to Mango to save them. This is supposed to be the exciting climax but its more of an anti-climax as Mango doesn’t do a very good job being a hero. What can you expect from a guy named Mango.
This movie really ended with a wimper but there was some really funny scenes in it. If you actually read this whole thing then I’m in shock since this is pretty much just me randomly typing as I watch a bad movie. If you want to see a sample of this movie then check out the youtube link for the trailer and let me know in the comments what bad movies you love:.